Halloween humor

Funny Count Dracula Joke

ANSWER: DEAD ON HIS FEET!!!!!!!!!!!

Halloween Jokes

Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?
A: Spooketi

Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!

Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.

Q: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
A: “Trike or Treat”?

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.

Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room!

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His “ghoul” friend!

Q: Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
A: Because he wears a size “S”.

Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
A: Shamboo!

Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!

Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A: A sandwich!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine!

“Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf.”
“Please be quiet and comb your face.”

Q: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
A: I scream!

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.

Q: What do birds say on Halloween?
A: Twick o tweet

Q: What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A: A cocker poodle boo.

Q: What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
A: Mummies!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Booberries!

Q: What does a skeleton say before dinner?
A: Bone appetit!

Q: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
A: Scarespray!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-Jeans.

Q: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit.

Q: What did one owl say to the other owl?
A: Happy Owl-ween!

Q: Why is a skeleton so mean?
A: He doesn’t have a heart.

Q: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence.

Q: What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
A: Do you believe in humans?

Q: What do vampires take when they are sick?
A: Coffin drops!

Q: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
A: Count Quackula!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?
A: Booberry pie!

Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store!

And we could go on………………………

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Boogie down Bronx!!!

 

Dominoes and dancing on the streets of the west Bronx.

“This is the home of hip-hop where it all began—the boogie-down Bronx!”

That’s a common sentiment according to our exclusive NY1/Baruch College City Poll.

Some 40 percent of Bronx residents say “the boogie down Bronx” is the best nickname for the northern-most borough. The runner up, “El Bronx” comes in with 16 percent, followed by “the borough of salsa” at 11 percent and “the borough that Ruth built” at five percent. Twenty-six percent were undecided.

The name dates back decades to a building on Sedgwick Avenue.

“Of course, this is the boogie down Bronx. It all started here. Hip hop started here,” one woman says.

Hip hop parties started in the community room in 1973 and the rest is history.

“We are the innovators of what’s happening and what makes things happen. It’s the boogie down Bronx,” says one man.

So we know what Bronx residents say about their own borough but what do they say when they leave and head to other parts of the city?

“When I am heading to Manhattan, I say the city,” one man says.

Seventy-four percent of Bronx residents think of traveling to Manhattan as traveling to the “city.”

“It’s different over here. It’s more like home, and Manhattan is more like a place to go see and to go visit,” says another Bronx resident.

A third of Bronx residents travel outside of the borough daily—18 percent say a few times a week and another 18 percent say once or twice a week. Twenty-seven percent say less than once a week.

As for their own sites, the most popular is the Bronx Zoo. Eighty-six percent of Bronx residents say they have been there.

Dancing there was probably not included.

DO NOT OPEN SUSPICIOUS PACKAGES!

 

If you see something, say something!

 

No automatic alt text available.

 

blob:http://time.com/756fd1bc-6c0d-4dbc-9a19-dee5b4019b3e

By GINA MARTINEZ and KATIE REILLY

Updated: October 26, 2018 2:35 AM ET | Originally published: October 24, 2018

Law enforcement officials are still investigating at least 12 packages containing possible pipe bombs that were part of attempted attacks targeting high-profile Democrats, including two former presidents, three sitting members of Congress and a billionaire philanthropist.

On Friday, the FBI said a further package had been recovered in Florida that was addressed to Democratic Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey. NYPD confirmed a suspicious package had been found at a Manhattan post office addressed to James Clapper, the former Director of National Intelligence and critic of President Donald Trump, taking the total number of packages to 12.

Many of the packages, which authorities say are being taken seriously and treated as live devices, were addressed to several high-ranking Obama Administration officials, including former President Barack Obama, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, former CIA Director John Brennan and former Attorney General Eric Holder. By Thursday morning, the FBI confirmed three more packages had been recovered, including two addressed to former Vice President Joe Biden in Delaware and one addressed to actor Robert De Niro in New York City.

AUDITION FOR CITY ISLAND’S NEXT PRODUCTION…………..

AUDITIONS

Suite Surrender
By Michael McKeever

Directed by Amanda Livingston Martin

It’s 1942, and two of Hollywood’s biggest divas have descended upon the luxurious Palm Beach Royale Hotel — assistants, luggage, and legendary feud with one another in tow. Everything seems to be in order for their wartime performance…that is, until they are somehow assigned to the same suite. Mistaken identities, overblown egos, double entendres, and a lap dog named Mr. Boodles round out this hilarious riot of a love note to the classic farces of the 30s and 40s.

SEEKING:

Bernard Dunlap: Male, Mid 30’s – Late 40’s 
The General Manager of the Palm Beach Royale Hotel & Spa, wants everything at his hotel to run smoothly and doesn’t handle it well when it doesn’t.

Claudia McFadden: Female, Late 30’s – Mid 60’s
Larger than life, America’s Beloved Matron of Song, moves into every room like an elegantly dressed tornado.

Athena Sinclair: Female, Late 30’s – Mid 60’s
A great star of stage and screen, beautiful, stylish, and every inch the diva, former screen siren.

Murphy Stevens: Female, mid 20’s – Late 30’s
Personal secretary of Athena and former fiancée of Francis, once wanted to be a big star but settled for being secretary to a big star.

Mr. Pippit: Male, Early 30’s – mid 40’s
Personal secretary of Claudia, pretty much resigned to the fact that his lot in life is to be yelled at, a tiny man compared to his employer.

Dora Del Rio: Female, Mid 30’s – Mid 50’s
A gossip columnist, can smell a juicy story and will try just about anything to get it, must be good at physical comedy.

Mrs. Everett P. Osgood: Female, Mid 40’s – Mid 60’s
A society matron and President of the Palm Beach Ladies for Unity, a bit daft, sees the War Effort as equivalent to one of her cotillions.

Francis: Male, mid 20’s – Late 30’s
A bellhop and former fiancé of Murphy, quit show business to join the army, now hiding out in Palm Beach after they wouldn’t take him.

Otis: Male, Mid 20’s – Mid 40’s
Another bellhop, tends to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, must have excellent physical agility and comedic timing.

AUDITION DATES:
Thursday, March 8 @ 7:30 PM
Saturday, March 10 @ 2:00 PM

SHOWDATES & TIMES:
Friday, April 27@ 8:00 pm
Saturday, April 28 @ 8:00 pm
Sunday, April 29 @ 3:00 pm
Friday, May 4 @ 8:00 pm
Saturday, May 5 @ 8:00 pm
Sunday, May 6 @ 3:00 pm

Inquiries: email: auditions@cityislandtheatergroup.com